What Your Favorite '90s Outfit Says About You

It's the belief of many a nostalgia expert and WB network devotee that the '90s never died. The heart of the decade has always been beating, biding its time with slowly reincorporating chokers into mainstream culture and just waiting for Netflix to start producing television shows.
And now is the '90s heyday. Its spirit is alive and well and everywhere you look. That doesn't mean that everything from the Greatest Decade holds up perfectly, of course. Pogs and JNCO jeans have no place in our current society. But we can still gain knowledge and insights from looking back at the most popular moments of the '90s. 

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'90s Girl Crushes You Totally Forgot About

Today we look at a few particular outfits. There are some looks from the decade's best movies and TV shows that have come to be known as iconic, and we all have a favorite. Some of us still die over everything that Cher wore in Clueless. Others find themselves oddly emulating Stephanie Tanner on a daily basis. And whichever is your personal fave, we know exactly what that says about you.
Yes, we are fashion psychics, and have insights that you could only dream about, culled from just a few pieces of neon clothing. Pick out your most treasured iconic 'fit below, and prepare to be amazed. 

Your favorite American Girl doll was Molly. You went to college to, like, learn. You're a sucker for latte art, especially when it's fall and the art is in the shape of a leaf, and also especially when the barista making the latte art has a perfect 5 o'clock shadow. You're a big city lover and are always looking for your next adventure. You're independent and don't mind doing things on your own, but you'd ultimately rather be with a friend or a boyfriend than with a book. You carry a backpack half for the convenience and functionality of it and half for the fact that they look cool. All the salespeople at Madewell know you by name, but the joke's ultimately on them because all your old clothes from the '90s are still cool and you haven't had to buy shoes in two decades.

You've had the same best friend since you were 14. When given the choice of two cities to go on vacation, you always choose Vegas. You have a signature dance move to use every time you go to the club, and God have mercy on the soul of the person who tries to copy it. You always identified the most with Samantha when you watch Sex and the City, except that one time when Carrie was dating Berger and they sucked at sex and she got drunk and wore those furry shoes. As a child you were super jealous of the Olsen twins and how they perfectly coordinated, but didn't fully match, their outfits. You never stopped wearing chokers, and you held onto your butterfly clips just in case they come back in style. You always give at least one white lie when you're talking to a stranger, but who cares because they'll never find out you didn't scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef.

You have a tarot card reader and an astrologist on speed dial. You've considered shelling out for a full-on psychic at least once. Eyeliner is your best friend. You would literally never be caught dead without eyeliner. You probably want to have kids one day, but for the time being they annoy the crap out of you. You're definitely a dog person...don't even talk to you about cats. You can tell by looking at someone whether or not they're a virgin. You have a monthly subscription to Yankee Candle Company, but you don't always buy the seasonal scents. That said, you're not not going to get at least one Pumpkin Buttercream. You're only human (or ARE YOU?). You keep a fully stocked candy jar at your desk, and your favorite season is whenever it's cold enough to wear velvet. 

You could debate the topic of who is the greatest living pop diva for hours. The best day of your year was when Mariah Carey insisted she didn't know who Jennifer Lopez was. You've already tweeted the I-don't-know-her GIF at least twice. You're able to talk your way out of any debacle...but you hardly find yourself in those in the first place. You really don't like working out, but you do have a membership to your local barre class. You like it because you can go get a juice or a coffee afterwards and you don't look all sweaty and gross. You don't know how to cook but you'd, like, totally love to learn. You still use a Blackberry, and Apple is going to have to pry it out of your cold, dead hands, discontinuation be damned. 

Girls is your favorite current TV show, and Lena Dunham is your spirit animal. You never met a thrift shop you didn't like—but you've been wearing the same pair of Doc Martens since 2002. They only get better with age! If you look closely, you'll see those pins on your vintage leather jacket are actually from the Hillary Clinton campaign store. You own every product that Apple has ever made. You were the Groomswoman in your best high school guy friend's wedding. You're a monthly donor to Women Who Code...but you don't actually code. The theme of your apartment's decor could be described with the phrase "found objects." Sometimes people at work think you're rude, but you're just trying to get to the point. What's with all the small talk these days anyways? Plus, you don't really like them because they wear way too much beige. 

You spend an ungodly amount of money on boutique spinning classes every month and you'll be darned if you don't show off the fruits of your labor every once in a while. You follow the principle of mixing high and low in your outfit choices, but also in your non-fashion life. You might be cooking up a batch of Julia Child's Boeuf Bourguignon tonight, but you're gonna crack open a beer to pair with it. You have a special place in your heart for silver foxes—hello Ed Harris and Anderson Cooper!—and any song by Prince. 

You're never against making a dirty joke, regardless of whether you're at a bar with your friends or in a meeting with top management at work. You've got a great sense of humor, and anyone who doesn't get it will just have to deal. Now, if we'll excuse you, your boots are killing you.